Future Repercussions of Unhealthy Parent – Child Relationships on parents By: Chukwuebuka Oguocha

Parenting undeniably has it’s challenges, especially for the good and dedicated parents who wants the best for their children. Also it is fulfilling, when success is achieved.
 

 Parent – Child relationships allow the nurture of physical, emotional, and social development of a child’s development. Quality relationship between parents and their children is a unique bond that determines their future personality, as it affects their overall life decisions and behavior.

 The Social, physical, Mental, and emotional strength of a child is affected by the nature of the bond that exist between the child and his parent, that is why varieties of behaviors are found in children, even though they are from a family.

Children with healthy and secure attachment to their parents stand a chance to grow happy and fulfilling relationships in their life time. They tend to be able to manage their emotions appropriately, when faced with emotional challenges. Children who are opportune to have secure parent – child relationship tend to exhibit enviable behaviors, and would possess the ability to deal with pressing life issues. 

 Contrarily, children who don’t have secure and healthy parent relationship, are most likely to lack the skills to deal with, physical, social, emotional aspects of life; as they lack the strength and skills that would have set them in position if they had quality attachment with their parents.

  The focus of our discuss is on the consequences parents are likely going to bear, if they fail to build strong parent – child relationship. As we know Parents are entitled to benefits after successfully raising their children to be responsible in life.

Read Also: The Effect of Technology on Children

Mr. and Mrs. Bernard had a son, they were both business man and woman; the kind that could barely have time to attend to domestic issues; But both mapped out special time, out of their busy schedule for their son. To ensure proper management of time for their son and their businesses, they strategically mapped out days to individually and collectively attend to the needs and questions of their son, making sure all areas of life were touched when necessary. This was achieved with a lot of efforts and sacrifices, knowing they needed the best for, and out of their only child.
 

To reciprocate the love shown to him without neglect by his parents, Bryan who grew to be a successful man; having experienced healthy and quality parent – child attachment, he made sure his parents where well taken care of optimally. 

 It is not news, that there are people at their very advanced age, and in unfavorable health state, still struggle as they had always did in their youthful age, due to lack of care and  attention from the supposed people.
  Is it that these set of individuals don’t have children who should cater for them so as to enjoy the rest of their stay on earth?

  Surprisingly, a good number of them have their children, who knew very much about the unfortunate life of their parents, but are apathetic of their conditions. Funny enough, there are children who chose to cater for their mother rather, because of the relationship they had with their mother from the onset, which the father failed to queue into. Building a parent – child bond, should be a collective efforts of both a mother and father, if it is one sided experience, be sure that it’s  effects will be same.

  A lot of children are at war with their parents, especially the male ones; Fathers are mostly at war with their sons, especially their first sons. this is because It is in the nature of men to want to be in charge, and don’t want to be intimidated. So a male adult child, in order to pragmatically prove he’s old enough to take responsibilities tend to counter his father’s advances towards him, and this is mostly found in situations where the father per se, happened to be in the nature of being a threat to his family, instead of being approachable and welcoming.
 

To build a better relationship with your children, so as to avoid future regrets due to negative consequences of not being attached to your children, the following should be considered.

1. Be Available: Create time for your children to communicate with them with no distractions; do well to suspend any activities that may distort your moment with them, such as your phone, television etc.  At least 10 minutes a day is good enough to create good communication habit, during this period you may be surprised at the questions lurked within them waiting for answers.
2. Eat Together: Eating together set the stage for you to love and care also for your children, and to ask questions about the challenges they encountered in their daily activities. In the process of eating you can decide to share some portion of your food, give a little of your meat. This simple acts have a big effect in your relationship with them.
3. Listen to Them: Listening is the beginning to the journey of staying connected, this is also applicable to your relationship with your children. It’s quit unfortunate that many parents, especially the men don’t have that patience to listen to their children, or even take it as important thing to do. Not listening to your children make them stay away from you, and also cause them to hide their feelings and other things. Try to see things from their perspective, and foster mutual respect.
4. Spend Time with your children Individually: For those with more than one child, do well to spend individual time with each of them, this makes them feel important, and even special. Doing this helps strengthen your bond, and makes them feel valued.
5. Play with Them: As adults, many find it difficult to indulge in the act of playing with their children, most especially the men, because they believe it is unmanly to engage in playing with their kids. Playing with your kids helps them develop their emotions and some skills, such as; creativity, and social skills.
6. Be a Problem Solver: Are you that one that claim to be too busy, why not learn from Mr. and Mrs. Bernard from the story above, who even with their busy schedule, strategically mapped out time to be with their only son. Raising children is indeed demanding, so you should meet their demands if you want the best result, and this also involves solving their problems. Don’t be like those who always tell their kids: “I don’t have the time now, am busy.” This may lead to your child getting the wrong information from the wrong people, and if they keep living with it, it will become part of them as they grow older; and can eventually turn out to be harmful to them in maturity.
7. Instigate Boundaries, Rules, Consequences: The life of every child needs to be structured and shaped; therefore, let them know what you expect of them, and the kind of information, they are expected to go for, the kind of places you need them to be, and the kind of friends they are expected to keep, and make sure they understand the purpose. When they live with these understandings, their life will be structured for good, and they will operate accordingly even as they keep developing.

All of these are sure, and reliable means through which you can build a strong, and healthy bond with your child, that in maturity they will be your strength. So subscribe to developing a quality parent – child relationship today.

Your views and Contributions on the topic on the comment section are sure acceptable, as they will add to the knowledge already shared for the better.