Respect for the Bread Winner 🏆, a show of humility!
Ubaoji Kingsley Ikechukwu
Many many years ago, while we were very young, farming was almost the sole source of family’s sustenance. Awka people were into blacksmithing and other towns and communities have their skills to showcase like hunting, farming, fishing, etc.
Today, civil service and business has taken over all ventures of our people that everyone struggles to get one white collar job or the other and once one doesn’t, most believe they can’t do much. Families are beginning to see this white collar job especially with FG as the best job in the world. Meanwhile, while in the job, most extort business people and entrepreneurs thinking that in that way, alternate source of income is made and we somehow meet up with our daily demands from life. Illegal sources of survival remains illegal and hurts someone anyway.
I wish this illegality can stop in our country. With this trend, many have become lazy to lift hands and legs because they’re not employed with any FG job. They get frustrated with this kind of job and envy those who are in FG jobs. Some in private sector are seriously made to believe they’re shortchanged because minimum wage does not apply in Nigeria for private sector as it does in civilized countries of the world. Anyway, here is why I’m writing this 👇🏿
Many couples are at war over who controls the affairs in the house. ‘He who pays the piper dictates the tune’ is the mantra. Yet in Africa, men are lords and cannot do some chores because they’re men. Some are not even making enough provisions for their household yet they want to be “the man”. I’ve sat down to ponder on what women go through in families; especially the working class ladies and women who put food on their tables, service their homes, do the chores without help and still don’t get gratitude from their spouse, I just feel like praying or urging men to really put themselves in the shoes of these women. To some men, those chores are easy but a lot many of us, it’s an uphill task. The time it takes to do those insignificant, small small, not weighty, unnoticed, etc works or duties that can take a whole day from morning till evening is really an issue. For instance, no real cooking lasts less than 1 hour and thank God for fridge, otherwise this is done 3 times daily. There are times EEDC takes light and she is hustling to preserve the food. For those who have kids, washing cloths especially the kids wears, feeding them, helping them with assignments from school, cleaning and mobbing the house, buying things from the market then trying at the same time to look good for the spouse, and the morning and night prayers. Ofcourse, it’s only women and ofcourse men who pay attention can know all these and more. Practically, most women are walking machine and I bet you, if you pay close attention to all these, you’ll appreciate women for who they’re and what they represent.
Now imagine after all these and more, especially those whose husbands are not providing much for the upkeep of the family and they don’t get appreciated for all these (whatever the appreciation is) and the man comes around to sap her of the remaining energy. Gratitude and appreciation is one secret that sparks up relationships and stirs marriages in the right direction. By all means, umu nwoke ibe m, appreciate your wives and mothers of your children. Make it a point of duty to show gratitude for every single milestone achieved. Those sweet words, encouraging gifts or gestures and most importantly being supportive in the little request they make of you is the spice that makes your relationship adorable. Don’t take your wife for granted because it’s her duty that she is doing. Yes, it’s her duty yet those who are not doing it still exist. I’m glad you understand what I mean. As a marriage counselor, I bet you, most women want out (end the union) if they have an alternative or rather if not for the children. Thank God for the bond children brings in marriage. You and I know it’s true!
There are special occasions like birthdays, wedding anniversary, events of importance to her or both of you. Take her out or just get her something. Sweet and chewing gum still makes sense to women no matter the age. I hope you get it?
Dear woman, this same gratitude applies to your men. Men pass through hell to carter for the family. I’m sure you don’t know all that your man do to put food on the family’s table? Give them peace of mind and appreciate that much they’ve been doing. The same way you notice they don’t appreciate you, remember you can initiate it and he will learn over time. Men are often always on the move so be their angel, support system, praise singer, and the Queen in their kingdom. You may not know that blessing him daily to his hearing has a way of activating a force that makes him conquer all challenges of each day. Learn to be his motivation just like motivational speakers encourage their audience. It’s that simple and please fill some financial gaps where needed. You may not know how far they go to make provisions for the house but all they get is challenge, fight, and nagging? I’m asking what you feed your hubby with? What does he get to hear from you often?
Anyway, a wise woman builds her home. Until you loose your spouse and try another one, then you will understand that what you’ve invested in that relationship is big. Man oh man, you know this is for you too. Go and marry a new lady, you’ll start afresh to invest in her. Both of you will start a new school of learning yourselves. The stress of change starts afresh when you have passed that level for your flight into higher realm of glory and exploits. Be wise and save your home now. Whatever sacrifice you will make in secret to keep your home is only known to both of you so make that sacrifice, kneel down and beg her inside the room, oh I mean beg him. Yes, you heard me right. Swallow your pride and save your marriage now while you can. So many people want out but I beg you, what is out there is not known to you. Leave what others boast about their marriage and face yours squarely. If you’ve an attitude problem, work on it, plead with your spouse to be patient with you. Be humble enough to build this family into an enviable one. It’s that simple! Honestly, it’s very simple. You’re the one making it look like a big deal because you’re who you claim you’re. Strip yourself of that you that is messing your home up and be that YOU that will build your home. I’m certain you’ll thank me later for this piece.
May the God who institutionalized marriage come to our aid and make our homes a habitation of angels that our children may grow in love and peace coming only from a beautiful family in Jesus name, 🙏 Amen!
Shalom 💃🏿💃🏿💃🏿💐🌷❤️❤️❤️🧚🏿♀️🧚🏿♀️🧚🏿♀️
