Nelson Mandela and the lessons of forgiveness

By Chidimma Anwusi

Nelson Mandela, former South African President, wrote a personal awesome story.

After I became PRESIDENT, I asked one day some members of my close protection to stroll with me in the city and have lunch at one of its restaurants. We sat in one of the downtown restaurants and all of us asked for some sort of food.

“After a while, the waiter brought us our requests, I noticed that there is someone sitting in front of my table waiting for food”

I told then one of the soldiers: Go and ask that person to join us with his food and eat with us. The soldier went and asked the man so. The man brought up his food and sat by my side as I asked and began to eat. His hands were trembling constantly until everyone had finished their food and the man went. The soldier said to me: the man was apparently quite sick. His hands trembled as he ate!”

“No, not at all,” said MANDELA.

“This man was the GUARD of the PRISON where I was JAILED.

“Often, after the torture I was subjected to, I used to scream and ask for a little water.

“The very same man used to come every time and urinate on my head instead”.

“So I found him scared, trembling, expecting me to reciprocate now, at least in the same way, either by torturing him or imprisoning him as I am now the President of the State of South Africa.”

“but this is not my character nor part of my ethics”

Have you come across this episode by Mandela?For me after going through the piece , I decided to add my views to this piece on Mandela.

“The Mentality Of Retaliation Destroys States, While The Mentality Of Tolerance Builds Nations.

“The weak can never forgive … forgiveness is the attribute of the strong”.

There is a whole lot lesson to learn from Nelson Mandela Prison and his after prison experience. The mentality of retaliation destroys states, while the mentality of tolerance builds nations. This mentality of retaliation also destroys institutions, organizations, families, relationships and human persons. Mentality of retaliation, inability to forgive is a great cancer working at the integrity of human society. It gets in the way of our efficiency and hampers our success.

It robs the society of the promotions it seeks and the prestige it desires. The great tragedy is no of individual is immune to it automatically but all must work to overcome this malignancy. When someone wrongs, we make mental notes to remember what was done or we think of ways to ” get back to them”. Someone gets the promotion we wanted so badly and resentment toward that person begins to build. Spouses make mistakes or does something offensive and we see what we can do to get even or at least make sure they never forget the hurt they have caused us.

From Nelson Mandela’s story its visible that when we keep score of wrongs committed against us, we reveal a lack of maturity. Look at what this mentality of retaliation and the malignancy of lack of the ability to forgive is doing to APGA and PDP family in Anambra state. This if no handled on time, may cause them to lose the election coming up on November 6.

Nelson Mandela’s attitude here depicts that the mark of community is not the absence of conflict. It’s the presence of a reconciliatory spirit. Nelson Mandela taught the human society to understand that the greatest power of healing is the power of forgiveness. His action portrays courageousness and that is the highest factor that makes us human. I learnt from his story that there is no revenge so complete as forgiveness. That those who hate us do not win unless we hate them, and then we destroy ourselves.

Many great prayers are not answered today because poor willingness to forgive. Unforgiveness is like drinking poison and hoping that it will kill the enemy. Nelson Mandela has given reasons to see forgiveness as a funny thing – which warms the heart and cools the sting. From him i just learnt that doing an injury puts us below our enemies, revenging one makes us but even with them,forgiving it sets us above them. To forgive is to set a prisoner free and to discover that the prisoner is oneself. Forgiveness saves the expense of anger, the high cost of hatred and waste of energy. He taught me that there is no revenge so sweet as forgiveness and forgiving those who have wronged is the key to personal peace.

The reaction of the guard shows that forgiveness destroys enemies when we make them our friends. He just opened my eyes to what is written in the book of proverbs 25:21-22 which says thus; “If your enemy is hungry, feed him. If he is thirsty, give him drink, you will make him burn with shame, and the lord will reward you”. Nelson Mandela just just taught that the strongest weapons for revenge and protection against our enemies or persecutors are love and forgiveness.

Holding on to anger, resentment and hurt only gives tense muscles, a headache and a sore jaw from clenching the teeth. Forgiveness gives back the laughter and the lightness in an individuals life, whereas the mentality of retaliation destroys states of mind. Taking Nigeria as a case study.Nigeria is what it is today because of this mentality of retaliation. It is this mentality that caused the May 16, 1953 Kano riots which lasted for three days, 16th to 19th May, 1953 and the three days riot left behind many casualties both in human and material resources. It was estimated that about 36 lives were lost and over two hundred and forty-one people wounded.

It is this mentality of retaliation that led to the July 29, 1966 counter coup d’ etat which was one of the factor that led to the Nigerian civil war of 1967 -1970 which claimed millions of life The political unrest in Nigeria today is as a result of this mentality of retaliation. If not for this mentality of retaliation Buhari would have employed capable hands and heads from any part of the country not minding their ethnic affiliation and not sectionalizing his appointment to the North, even when his government is failing on the promises he made to in 2015.

Leaders and potential leaders must imbibe the spirit, mentality of tolerance that builds nations, institutions, organizations as found in our beloved Nelson Mandela.

ANWUSI, CHIDIMMA is a writer who writes to rebuild the debris of the fallen pasts. He trusted his ink in proffering workable remedies to the troubles of wounded or bereaved hearts.
He is a first year student of Nnamdi Azikiwe University, Awka