NDT Marriage Corner: Is Sex A Prostate Enlargement Therapy Or Hype?

By Francis Ewherido

“A fool at 40 is a fool forever,” is a popular, in fact, hackneyed saying. I have not subjected it to empirical study, so I will not comment on it. But I know that at 40 you should try to be real and after 50 years, if you still live a lie or lie to yourself, your case is desperate. I love being real and brutal with myself by telling myself the truth. I do not play fool or deceive myself in my personal matters. It is painful if another person deceives me, but it is unforgivable if I deceive myself.

Two weeks ago, we talked about prostate challenges: prostatitis and enlarged prostate (benign or malignant. Our interest today is benign prostatic hyperplasia (BPH), that is, enlarged prostate that is not cancerous. There are many supposed therapies to shrink the prostate. One of the often hyped therapies is regular sex.

Just in case you still do not know, the prostate is a part of the male reproductive system, which includes the penis, seminal vesicles, and testicles. The prostate is located just below the bladder and in front of the rectum. It surrounds the urethra (the tube that empties urine from the bladder). The prostate glands produce and contain fluid that forms part of semen, the substance emitted during ejaculation as part of the male sexual response. I just want to give you an idea of the importance of prostate and the immense role it plays in reproduction and sexual pleasure. 

We know that once a man turns 40, the prostate starts enlarging. This enlargement comes with challenges after a while: “poor bladder control, including frequent bathroom visits, urinary urgency, sometimes with only a small amount of urine, difficulty starting the urine stream, or stopping and starting the stream while urinating, a weak or thin urine stream,” among others. These are all inconveniencing and sometimes painful conditions. 

I have always preferred natural therapies on prostate issues. In fact, for a while, I ate meals with plenty of tomatoes because it contains lycopene. From my PSA check before and after, compared to other times, the enlargement was much slower. Then I had some health challenges which disrupted the routine for two years. By the time I did PSA after over two years of disruption, there was a significant enlargement of the prostate. 

I have been experimenting with other natural therapies since then with little success, so I cannot discuss them here. I also tried an exercise where you lie face up on a flat surface and with the soles of both feet on the flat surface you are lying on. Then you raise your waist up and down. I am actually familiar with the exercise because it was recommended by my physiotherapist to strengthen the hind leg muscles when I temporarily lost the use of my legs. It worked for my hind leg muscles, but it did not shrink my prostate as hyped by the protagonists of this exercise, though I acknowledge that results do vary among people. I usually do pre and post PSA and prostate scan to be certain of what I am talking about. 

The purpose of today’s article is to reason with men on sex as an option to shrink prostate enlargement. Before I go on, let me share with you what I read online. “A 2016 study found that men who ejaculated at least 21 times per month reduced their risk of prostate cancer by about 20 per cent compared to those who did the deed four to seven times a month.”

“The magic of sex only goes so far when it comes to possibly protecting the prostate. Prostate enlargement, or benign prostatic hypoplasia, is a reality of aging that can’t be undone by more frequent ejaculation.”

“It’s far from definitive to say that more sex can help you dodge prostate cancer. In reality, nearly one out of eight with a prostate will be diagnosed with prostate cancer at some point during their life.” If we are to go by these quotes, the postulation of sex or frequent sex shrinking the prostate or stopping prostate cancer, it is inconclusive. 

Now let us go to the relationship between sex drive, testosterone, prostate enlargement and the age factor. “Testosterone, a hormone men need for sexual arousal, is typically high in your 20s, and so is your sex drive. Men in their 30s and early 40s continue to have a strong sex drive, though testosterone starts to slowly decrease around age 35. It typically goes down by about one per cent per year, but it could be faster for some men. This could have some effect on your sex drive. Plus, for many men, the stress of work, family, and other commitments can affect how interested you are in sex.”

“If you’re in good physical and mental health, there’s no reason you shouldn’t continue to enjoy your sex life as you get older. Erectile dysfunction “does become more common as you age. Your erections may happen less often and may be less firm. But it’s not age itself that causes the problem as much as health problems that become more common with age, like heart disease, diabetes, high cholesterol, and obesity, and the drugs that treat them.” 

• “At birth, the prostate gland is roughly the size of a pea. The prostate keeps growing until you turn 20 when it weighs 15 grams to 20 grams. During the ages of 30 to 45, the prostate should remain stable at 20-25 grams. 25 – 30 grams for men in their 40s, 30 – 40 grams for men in their 50s and 35 – 45 grams for men in their 60s.”

• As you observed, the libido and sexual ability diminish as the prostate is enlarging. I have been wondering, how can a natural problem (prostate enlargement) arise and nature is chipping away at the solution (regular sex). If regular sex is a sure solution to enlarged prostate, it would have been better if enlarged prostate afflicted people in their 20s and 30s, up to 45 years when their sex drive is high and they can engage in sex up to 30 times or more a week without stress to shrink the prostate? But how many people in their 50s have that kind of time, strength and health to engage in such frequent and rigorous sex? Na who I go ask, God?

• I will share a few interactions with you. Many years ago, I spoke with my friend after he turned 50 years. He is a year older than I am. In the course of our discussion, he told me that his wife complained that he now does only one round, unlike before. “My friend, don’t you know I am getting older,” my friend bellowed. I went to visit another friend. I met him with another mutual friend. They are their late 60s now but they were in their mid-50s then. I cannot remember what brought the discussion, but the wife of my host said their marriage is now more about companionship than sex. The other woman retorted, “If we see am once in three months, na celebration.” My friends were so embarrassed, I quickly changed the topic. I visited another friend in his early 60s. We were talking when the wife came to greet me. As she was going upstairs, my friend asked, “Make I come.” The wife retorted, “Come do wetin? I never recover from the one you do yesterday.” I was not surprised at her response. My friend spends hours playing squash and he is so fit and strong, what do you expect? Last August, an 84-year-old man killed his 75-year old wife for denying him sex. An 84-year-old can still muster an erection?

• But from the few responses and the story, it is a mixed bag for men above 50 years, depending on many factors. But the point I want to make is that God created sex for procreation and pleasure in marriage. Continue to enjoy it, but be careful using it as a means to shrink your prostate. Take into consideration your heart condition, underlying ailments like hypertension, diabetes and others. Some of these ailments have even rendered some men temporarily impotent, while other men are dealing with erectile dysfunction. Do not also go taking aphrodisiacs, because you want to use sex to shrink your prostate, without consideration of your health situation and consultation with your doctor. Do not rob Peter to pay Paul. Being alive is more important.

Though I have not implemented all of them, I subscribe to the following natural routines for prostate health: Avoiding liquids a few hours before bedtime or before going out, limiting caffeine and alcohol as these may stimulate the urge to urinate, eating a low-fat diet, eating a large variety of vegetables each day, eating a few servings of fruit daily, with citrus fruits, if possible; participating in moderate to vigorous physical activity most days of the week and maintaining a healthy weight (before those who know me get at me, I am overweight. E nor easy, but I go try lose some).