Hidden fantasies and Fetishes

By Oreva Godwin

Fantasy refers to something you spend a good time thinking about, imagining when alone, to get yourself in the sexual mood. Some of these fantasies include pleasures you wish to have on your bucket list. Some may come true, while some may never see the light of day.

What is Fetish?
Fetish, on the other hand, is different from fantasy. A fetish enables you to achieve arousal and ultimately, orgasm. You don’t think fetish. You do fetish. 

Societal norms and religion, have limited a lot of people from pursuing their fantasies and fetishes. A lot of people can’t even stand their own fantasies and fetishes, not to talk of approaching their partners and open up on their fantasies and fetishes. 

I can’t even imagine a woman telling her traditionalist of a husband to go down and put a tongue to her anals. I see some faces changing in disgust as they read this. But hey, lots of men do this to their regular partners they consider clean. Did I hear somebody screaming?

But, before you present your fantasies and fetishes to your partner, know and understand your partner, lest they report you to their pastors for serious deliverance or call a family meeting on you.

A lot of people have fantasies, but not all have a fetish, while some people have not yet found out their fetish. But some explicit sexual moments can trigger your fetish. It’s amazing how the right sex partner can bring out a side of you that you never knew existed. 

Many ladies have a lot of fantasies on their bucket list, but have failed to pursue them, all because others may consider them too sinful. Some are scared of being judged or afraid of discovering the right partner that will help them make a particular fantasy or fetish come true. They simply don’t want you judging them.

Types of Fantasies
Many ladies fantasize about having threesomes with two guys, where one of the guys would be in front, and the other, behind. Others crave anal sex. While a few delight in incest and rape sex. Not to talk of some people that like having sex in a public space, etc.

Whatever the fantasies may be, note that some fantasies will forever remain as fantasies and never carried out or attempted. Some will definitely find expression or see the light of day.

But, a note of caution: its great fun to execute your fantasies before marriage. The ugly reality of life is that you may not be lucky to have a partner that will be sexually active and sexually adventurous as you want or wish to. Except you opt for cheating while married. But that is up to you.

Talking about cheating, even a cheat may never have his or her fantasies or fetish activated. Because not every cheat is lucky to meet an adventurous and active side chic or sugar boy. So, when courting, know who you are courting, to have a fun filled marriage .

I know a lot of couples who engage in threesomes; I mean married couples. Who are we to judge and condemn them? After all, we are talking of two like minds coming together as a couple and fulfilling their fantasies. There’s empirical evidence that couples who fulfil each other’s fantasies, have the most long lasting marriages, than those who sneak behind their partners to fulfil hidden fantasies. 

For some men, it is having local girls and women as sex partners that gives them the most satisfaction. These village girls may be running a local buka, or selling food by the roadside. Such ladies may not even wash properly; the sweat from their body and zero use of chemicals to wash off smell from their privates, that obvious odour from their privates and smell of sweat excites some men exceedingly. These men enjoy sleeping with these women. You may call them dirty and smelly, but to these men, it’s a divine experience. That’s their fantasy. Yes, they may follow classy ladies or marry them, but real sex and pleasure comes from those low class ladies.

Sometimes ladies need to ask what some men find in sidechics that are not as beautiful, smart, humble, industrious as they are. The ugly truth is that, some of these side chic are not better in bed; they only make the men’s fantasies and fetish come true. So communicate with your partner. Everything is not about quarrels. Try to know what you don’t know about your man.

Types of fetishes
These range from foot fetish to latex fetish and domination and submissive fetishes. Others include, orgasm control, body piercing, role playing, etc.

Orgasm control is relative to domination and submissive fetishes. This involves taking permission as a submissive before having orgasm. If your dominant refuses for you to have your orgasm, even at the edge of orgasm, you have to control yourself and beg for it. Failure to take permission before orgasm means you stand to be spanked, strangled (mildly) or punished (sexually).

Esther never knew it was possible to control her orgasm. Whenever she masturbated, she tried to control her orgasm. So the sweet pleasure could last longer. But she always failed at it in the end. Years later, she met Dammy, who was in every sense, a bad boy. He decided to make her his sex toy and introduced her into domination and submissive fetishes. 

During coitus, he asks her to tell him when she is close to orgasm and when Esther tells him, he will command her not to climax and that as his slave she must obey him. Of course, it was hard for Esther to control her orgasm at first, but after frequent punishments for defying his commands, she started controlling herself, by forcing her mind out of the pleasure, preferring to savour the sweet torment, being the obedient bitch. 

People often discover their fetish by the kind of partner they have. Onome, never knew she was a foot fetish, until, she met Elvis. He was her perfect match and fulfilled all her fantasies. One-day, when they were engaging in foreplay, she was just licking his body and got to his feet and started licking and sucking his toes and feet and she enjoyed it and found out she enjoyed it because it turned her on extremely.

No doubt, we live in an exposed world, where people are open minded and even adopt open marriages. Experimenting sexual fantasies and fetishes has become the new trend in relationships. But we need to have an exposed mind when it comes to sex. Yes, you can create your sex limits, but never judge anyone with more crazier fantasies and fetishes. You might not be their perfect match sexually, but they are perfect answer to someone else’s prayer.